kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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