Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hippo gnu deer
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
