I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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