Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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