Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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