So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
