she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
