It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
