it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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