I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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