there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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