I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We need to rekindle our bromance
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
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