plz talk dirty to me
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
