Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
