its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
