Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
