My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
