Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize