ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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