I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
