everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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