I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
