So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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