come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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