I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
