Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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