no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
