omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
