I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
