dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We had sex on a dog bed..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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