we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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