I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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