she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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