One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
