We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
