I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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