He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
accomplished twins. life is a go
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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