You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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