why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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