Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
