Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
