Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
