Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize