I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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