tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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