So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
