Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
