We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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