He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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