just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
