How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.