She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret