I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
