I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
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My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.