i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway