Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.

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  (410): He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school. http://tfl.nu/iqns
  Replies (20) Good night (937) Bad night (5791)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid

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  (478): tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid http://tfl.nu/h4uf
  Replies (9) Good night (3543) Bad night (582)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.

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  (937): i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester. http://tfl.nu/q7xe
  Replies (31) Good night (5908) Bad night (2167)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  just left the emergency room. condom extraction.

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  (920): just left the emergency room. condom extraction. http://tfl.nu/bo1w
  Replies (30) Good night (1135) Bad night (11182)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.

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  (216): Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was. http://tfl.nu/ift5
  Replies (16) Good night (6057) Bad night (1071)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south

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  (561): No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south http://tfl.nu/5xop
  Replies (4) Good night (2592) Bad night (780)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.

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  (902): Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/bcf5
  Replies (4) Good night (934) Bad night (1551)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.

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  (775): Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/op0y
  Replies (1) Good night (788) Bad night (1214)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm dying.

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  (503): It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me. (541): I'm dying. http://tfl.nu/wgmh
  Replies (3) Good night (676) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.

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  (928): I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now. http://tfl.nu/gaaz
  Replies (29) Good night (3527) Bad night (708)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game

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  (724): They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game http://tfl.nu/pqbb
  Replies (8) Good night (1190) Bad night (614)
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  (646): View more from New York

  How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.

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  (646): How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope. http://tfl.nu/0uer
  Replies (2) Good night (1380) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself

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  (773): Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself http://tfl.nu/pyfv
  Replies (14) Good night (1207) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester

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  (309): yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester http://tfl.nu/2w28
  Replies (2) Good night (532) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.

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  (661): I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera. http://tfl.nu/brbw
  Replies (0) Good night (453) Bad night (291)

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