In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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