Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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