I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
