I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
