This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Terrible idea I love it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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