i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i will never coherently bang her
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize