Dual....:-)
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
