One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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