In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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