Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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