Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he puts the penis in happiness.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
What drink are we having for lunch?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
