You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
